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I’m embarrassed and ashamed to admit this, but I’ve spent the past 12+ years struggling with anger on a deep rooted level. So much so that in September of 2014, I tried to end the anger (and my life) by pulling the trigger. I was in a very dark place struggling with demons and voices in my head.
Voices telling me I suck, I couldn’t save my marriage, I’m a horrible father, I’m a poser and POG, and the world would just be better if I was gone.
My marriage had failed.
I was struggling to control my anger after experiencing a flashback to Iraq while watching my son play a video game. (Thus resulting in my PTSD diagnosis).
I had yelled and screamed at my children in ways that no father should ever do.
I truly loathed and despised myself because I survived my tour in Iraq, yet one of my troops died in combat at 23 years old and left behind a 6 month old daughter that would never know her father.
I struggled to sleep and every little stupid thing like tripping over the dog, spilling my coffee, someone cutting me off in traffic, etc., would set me off in a rage ready to fight.
Ultimately, God saved me that day and stopped me from doing the unthinkable. Since then, the “S” word has never been an option. I went and got serious help with the VA. Therapy can work wonders especially when it’s Cognitive Behavioral Therapy combined with Prolonged Exposure Therapy.
However, I’ve still struggled to control my anger. For 12+ years, I’ve applied everything I’ve learned not to react to the things that would stimulate my sympathetic nervous system. The problem is my SNS is broken. I don’t have a fight or flight response…only a fight. And I was getting tired.
This week, I’ve taken time off to get help in what I truly hope will be the final piece to help me stop being angry all the time.
I went and saw James Lynch, MD and had a bilateral Stellate Ganglion Block performed. You can find out more about it here: https://drjameslynch.com
All I can tell you is he is the real deal. He helped me understand that my anger wasn’t my fault and a byproduct of a stuck SNS. Dr. Lynch was so kind, thoroughly took his time to listen to me, explain everything that would happen, possible side effects, and was calm and reassuring throughout the procedure both days.
Thanks to him, I realize I’m not the evil monster I thought I had become, and for the first time in a very long time, I’m hopeful that I can stop being angry and be a human being again.
If you’re struggling with anxiety, PTSD, anger management, etc., PLEASE!!!! Give Dr Lynch a call.
Doc….from the bottom of my heart…THANK YOU!
